Planning a family: What to do if you don’t fall pregnant?

What to do if Planning a Family doesn't work out? Don’t be afraid to seek help. We’ve got a few tips that could help.

Severe stress, crises or life-changing experiences can lead to fertility being restricted for a certain period of time. This is known as temporary infertility or subfertility. For example, your cycle may become irregular for psychosomatic reasons. If you put yourself under too much pressure, your sex life and relationship can suffer.

Relaxing and being patient can help ease the pressure and reduce stress. Physical exercises tailored to the desire for children, autogenic training and progressive muscle relaxation can have a positive effect. And importantly – don’t give up hope too soon. It’s perfectly normal even for a physically healthy couple to take up to a year to get pregnant. The chances of conceiving are no more than  20 to 30% per cycle, decreasing with age.

Examinations and treatments are exhausting. They put you and your relationship under strain. Remember what you used to like to do before starting treatment. What did you enjoy doing as a couple? Make time for each other away from the stress of trying for a baby and focus on the positives of your marriage or partnership.

As there are only a few days in a cycle when you can fall pregnant, it's a good idea to track your fertile days. There are a range of electronic trackers on the market, such as the  Daysy tracker . If you have a busy schedule or don’t see each other often, it can be reassuring to know exactly when you ovulate.

Consider in advance how you want to respond to questions such as “Don’t you want to have children?”. Many people find it a relief to be honest. However, it’s up to you whether you want to talk about it or not.

It can often be comforting to speak to people who are going through a similar situation. You can understand one another’s problems and insecurities, benefit from other experiences and see things from a new perspective.

On the Stiftung Selbsthilfe Schweiz  website, you’ll find self- help groups, virtual self-help offers and a list of groups and people who are looking to share experiences.

The doctor can perform a series of relatively simple tests to try and determine why you’re unable to fall pregnant. The man should be tested first, because in 30 to 40% of cases, the cause of childlessness lies with the man. And the male examinations are much easier than those for women.

Thanks to advances in medicine, many cases of infertility can now be treated successfully. So there are options that may enable you to still have children. These range from hormone treatments all the way through to artificial insemination. This knowledge can be reassuring, but don’t forget that reproductive medical procedures are often time-consuming and expensive. It’s therefore important for you to consider all your options early on in the process.

Your gynaecologist or fertility clinic can give you help and advice.